Punch Drunk

I decide to wander to the East. There’s plenty of land between here and DC, and if there really is a war on, there ought to be some kind of civilisation on the way. From a small clifftop, I spy a large molerat lurking outside Megaton’s walls.

My hunting rifle is in too poor a shape to be reliable in combat, but for hunting? Why, it’s almost as if that’s what it was made for.

10 caps per shot means I’d need four or five large molerats to form an orderly queue and politely wait to be blown away, which I don’t think happens outside action flicks. So I jog around the side of the cliff before the mole can wander off, slipping on a pair of brass knuckles I pried from the remains of a dead man. I’m all class.

Embarassingly, it still manages to catch me by surprise. Moley is also bigger than I thought. He charges and tries for a bite with those suddenly vicious-looking teeth. There’s no time for anything but a reflexive right hook. Haaaaaaai!

And POW! Check out our Cass! Terrible stance, but good aim at least. But I fear this may be the end of me already, as my health is low and look at the size of that thing…

One punch. One.

Hell yeah. I guess being a hopeless weakling doesn’t totally negate a bit of natural technique, huh? Right in the neck! This deserves some celebration.

Better luck next time, moley!

Unfortunately word of my prowess/luck evidently gets round fast, as the next few molerats I see scarper as soon as I appear. While tracking one down I spot a scuffle up ahead involving what appears to be Steve the caravan guard. I try to investigate, but can only get close enough for a vague silhouette shot.

A tense moment. Should I fire? If he’s hostile I need to get the drop on him, but if I miss, or he’s not alone… damn it.

Possibly Steve disappears in the direction of the city, and a small explosion resonates from there a few moments later. Hm. Probably not wise to go that way unprepared, then.

After gutting a few more molerats, I go back and sell the spoils to Plastic Hair Lady for less than the cost of today’s water. Ulp. I will have to start taking some big risks as of tomorrow. But for now, I head inside the Brass Lantern to buy that beer.

Well hello there. What’s a nice unattended bottle like you doing in a place like this?

Pardon? What’s that you say? You want me to drink you? But we mustn’t!

I never had… I never had a one thing, right, that’s not going wrong. One thing. Fuckin’ … it’s a fix, man. A fix. I wannanother drink.

If this guy doesn’t stop staring at me I’m going to jam that kebab stick up his todge.

Oh for … One word. One word. One word he says to me and that’s it, chair legs, teeth, glass everywhere. I’m doing it. I’ll do it. This is ARMOUR, okay? It’s armour. It’s not… it’s not for staring, jackass.

I swear I’ll do it. Where’s… where’re the bogs?

mmkay. Is dark. I’ma lie down just a little bit.

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